when i mean what i say:

its the everyday hapi-n unhapi tots.

Wkends was wonderful.
i remember when i was on the road n smiling away...
tnking of my birkies.
squeezing my 'dark ring'- its a soft toy! a really cute 1 frm him :)

i slept smiling... went to work on a monday n felt like it was friday...
".. hello... how many days more..?" he'll ask.... "...er..3 days b4 i see u???" i replied...
"... no.. " "..OH 14 days b4 my birkies arrive! hohoh..." it was hyseterical.
i really am over e moon w buying my life-long cherry drem... n u know wad.. it comes w a bonus PAIR.!!! thats y i've gone hysterical! haha.... courtesy of jj
n then.. was my FAV. Dajie, she transfered sum amnt of $ to me.. for my camera im dying to get! it got better!haha.. but bcus today is her bday n yet she tot of mine 1s.t.. i tnk i melted ..
:P but ok.. i admit im getting materialistic here! ha... but its just those days which u wanna b pampered n feel that pampering ... it will n suppose to last me for Days..weeks..but...
butbutbut..

everything gone down pouring.
ger n i was almost in tears.
yup we mgt be behaving alil too 'over'... overly sensitive..
but my hart sanked.. my hapi mood fell.
it hit my hard the day b4 alrdy. when i felt smth against my cheek n who i saw in front of me..
but i tried to cool it... but today again.. with much disappointment..
but do i really have e right to ffeeeeel so so pain n angry?
have i e rights?
i know i dnt..
but ger u have!
yes im a bitch..
but still

after dinner w u.. i guess we got happi again...so much better...
u cldnt imagine e amnt of food we ordered..
we were trying hard to bury our pain.. n anger n disppointments.. n duno wad ever... we just ate, chat n gossip..

i guess Food is our BESTest fren after all.

i dun wanna rembr today.
the middle part.
i tnk it make my my hart pain pain..
n my eyes pain pain.

hmph.
gerrrrrrrrrrr.
im going hysterical again...
ok i shall stop here.

anyway.. he is not well...
n its a strange feeling.. more then worry..
n yet he still wait for me to get hm.. n call me...
anyways..

ger. wad u told me abt us meant so much.
thku

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah
i cnt blog no more.
its getting on me..

sum pics to relief me.
took these when we 3 silly gurls went for our Sun,Sea,Sand trip!......


my fat hands. touching the 'cotton sky'

and There's my chubby feet :)

i thnk i just ned to get away.... i cnt stand disappointments... they meant so much to me...thats y....

but life goes on..

posted by Cinds @ 2:05 AM 0 comments

qoute-y

on my painful taxi ride hm yest, i heard this on e radio

" Man falls in love with their eyes, Woman falls in love with their ears"

but my jj says.." thats for most guys only... ... ... i fall in love with my heart..."
- i always say.." the heart never lies"
:)

posted by Cinds @ 10:08 AM 0 comments

day of thought

morning was... "..happy sha la la la.. "
then it was ... " angry sha la la la.."
then it became.."...*sob*sob* sha la la la.."

i started my dreming session once i emptied that 15% of my bowels since duno when..
to celebrate, i pratically could imagine me meeting yh for Mcdeebreakfast before sch... him picking me up after sch.. heading to alami for prata and nite walks... meeting the guys @ holland v for a drink... taking a bus ride dwn for sum evening shopping... a trip down clementi just for bubble tea, dwn hollandv for icecrem n magazine indulge... i dremt.. so much.. n i smiled.
then it was yh telling me abt her 'youtiao' supper she'v been wanting...
n our movie tmr nite... i was like.. how nice if i could drive.
i can drive jj hm.. so that he dun have to chauffer every1, worry abt using e car,rush like crazy...
i could like send dad hm, go movie...let him drive...drop him..send xt hm..n yh... yh will b most willing to be my car-ride partner! right geR? :P that'll be so so so nice.. i will get my licence!!!! i will.

then as i dream.. my tummy rumbles.. its like. i have to empty 30% more.. but i cnt.
then there was sum irritation @ wrk.. but nvm!
but then came xy n dl...teasing me abt.. "only jj can cause u to have zero output" dnt be mistaken..its not bowels we are toking here! ha.. its smth else!
YES he did.. i sat by the indoor playground for children for almost 2hrs staring @ kids, mum n dad running by me...1hr walking round the bookstores for ideas, 1hr @ daiso,n 1.5hrs @ the shop... n stil zero output! yes not forgetting the multiple calls for help. i really m lost. xy u r right.. i thnk too hard...

anyways.. my day was alright..
finishup sum stuff n all... browsing thru yl 2005 album for pics for wrk.. was pressing the arrow tab..press press..daze daze..untill
i saw smth.
made my hart froze. smiled. n teared.

-250306 yishun stadium.

its now on my ofice desktop.

memories.pain.guilt and tears of friendship..

a picture tells a thousand words ya.. this picture spells my hartfelt misses , mistakes, choices,hopes,joy,pain and love for them.

i jus wanna look @ it.. everyday.

posted by Cinds @ 7:10 PM 0 comments

a not so hapi tues.

i shall not grouch here... so.... until my grouch-clouds clear the skies u'll hear the normal me again... :P
-today i found out that i actually chooses who to grouch at,, n its often ppl close to me!..oops...

btw, smth i told my colleague when we were chatting over lunch..

Woman.
They can forgive but they can't Forget
Man.
Then can't forgive but they can Forget.

Agree?

posted by Cinds @ 2:53 PM 0 comments

sudden joke recall:

Was @ those aquarium pet shop...
w my sisters, mum n dad.

why?
our little lobster died.. after abt 6months..
e tank is empty.. angie wanted guppies.. n grace was in search of a new lobster..

Me : standing infront o the gold fish tank ".. excuse me.. can these gold fish be mixed with guppies?"

Shop keeper : " CAN!.. but have to tell u that goldfish can grow big one leh!.. n when it becomes bigger.. it might accidentally swollow ur guppies only la.., Accidentally - 'bu siao xing' only la.."

dot dot dot.

Me ( again ) : " wad about the crab..? can mix?"

Shop keeper : "Oso CAN!.. but it'll use its pincers n 'bu siao xing' eat the fish lo..."

dot dot dot...

-all above in chinese.. v chi-na v cartoon..
i tnk he tot i was a 6yr old..
n he didn know im a 'animal planet' watcher.. haha.. anyways..
i stil love furries.. bcoz i cant hug a fish or ask the fish to keep me company or 'walk' a fish...
vvv mean..
i know. :P
in e end we bought 9 fishes..
all mixxy.. we just didn care..
wanted to make angie do the taking care! ha :P

im happi again.

posted by Cinds @ 12:56 PM 0 comments

" one who admits its mistake and does it again..." " is like not admiting its mistake at all"

its so painful.
girl u r so strong n im in awe..

when u knw sum1 very well and u love him so..
wad happens when he decides to have a change?

u respect him?
u let him has his way?
u keep ur pain?
u tell him his selfish ways?
u u get angry?
u feel upset?

u realised that, there is no forever.
u realised that, its either me or u.

but i want to tell u.
U gave ur 110%.. its was a beautiful one.
he may b that jerk.
But he'll remember that u r that angel.
we all will, bcoz u r.
n u r such that he didn know how to keep.

i always tell myself.
even if it doesn't workout, i wan his next gf to be the most fortunate.
because i have made him a better lover.

But sumtyms..
wad if he bcums.. ?
does it make me a better person?
wad does it bring?
wads e point?
who looses out?
who gains?
WHo e F**k made this game??
or if its not a game.
There is no forever..

u r sumone more worthy , n u know him too well.
its hard, n it will become harder
but babe.. u know ur hart never did lie n u did it well.
this is the 1st tym i duno how to console such..
bcoz u r always e stronger 1.
i hoped i could swear @ him. but i know thats not wad u want..
but i only can say..
u loved well.
n u r stil my role model.

il be nearby.



mylove

posted by Cinds @ 11:56 AM 0 comments

tons to share :)

Last wkend was a crazy... a happi 1 yea.
Mummy's day...
SAt went to Aranda country club for Minmin n baby Eaven's birthday!
yes i was nervous n worried... n vvv afraid of disappointments..
but im glad i went.. n im glad i went shopping for it!! got minmin hello kitty Jewellery mini set n hello kitty handphone - did i mentioned minmin is a 5 yr old lil girl? :P
Anyways she loved it :) he told me she carried it everywhere the next day!
im so so hapi, wanted to buy her hello kitty sticker maker but it was really costly... but im glad i held on with my 'hello kitty' choices!!
He did fine ther... n it made me really glad.
i hope things will get better n better :) yep im greedy.

Sunday-
Wonderfully my big fat family of 6 set 'wheel' and went for a day of FOOD, LAUGHTER, SHOPPING, SIGHT SEEING, LAZE and just quaity family tym...
Food @ IVINS IVINS was as usual wonderful.. then sitting n such cramp n cozy space on e car was the best thing that my family always do!!! we just yakked, laugh, go anywher, eat n eat, n enjoy ourselves :) Now i know y i ask so much in a bf... coz my dad set the standard high for being the best chauffer''' best full tym nagfree family man when comes to family days... ok yes old man got nag...but never he miss driving us anywher with any complains!! men out ther...buckup!!! hahaha
i so should get my license... - i know i said it a hundred tyms!!

the story goes...n my smile lives...

Today i finally did sum stuffs, bday plans, sch stuff, personal choices and many more...
mixed feelings but im trying hard!!! i really m.
cheer on for me k!

i really should end here, struggling w typing on my sis old laptop... how hardworking can i get?
or im afraid my memory wil fail me vvv soon!!! im not young leh!

mylove

*oh, i watch PEACH PROTEIN on ch49, was abt the couple Alex n Yong Xian... it made me smile inside out all the way!!!! ger, u must catch it too!!!!

tata

posted by Cinds @ 1:24 AM 0 comments

the kinD of things..u just never forget.

yest Was S.o.s
i worked frm 9am-11pm...
*yawns*
n i have smth to rush for the day b4 i take afew hrs off for mday celebration..but im stil blogging!

Was wrking w a bunch of helpers...6guys to be specific..
it reminded me of the old days..
we were @ kallang mrt co-ordinating for the bus services we chatered..
n again mR bus company came w excuses...
but anyway.. i stand for 4hours but i returned to the national stadium in all smiles :)

**

reached hm recieving sms-s thanking me for the drinks n ice cream i got them.
invitation to their birthdays...
n many many gd warm words they sent.
They mgt not be 'smarter' then many, but they still are such nice boys'!... n they make me feel that im a leader to them!

n like moments when they helped me with my food, carrying of stuffs, calling up the bus uncle on my behalf to scREm @ him, asking me adult Qs(haha) , woman/gf Qs, making me sit in their midst n away from my colleagues....
IT reminds me of the old tyms...
times with boon n gang..times with the lil grp o 6...
n i always smile looking @ them talk..n they'll ask me :" y? very funny meh?"
but actually i smiled bcus of all the fond memories flooding back in my mind ...

:) fruitful

btw, i met this woman in her 50s yest..
she was lost.
she approached one o my helpers..shaking n in her old clothes..
my helper get frightened n moved away.. he tot she was begging..
then when i wanted to help her he told me not to.! haha.. afraid she;ll harm me!! so furni
but in the end...
she was Lost.
n scared.
n when i told her to call hm.. she told me her children will scold her. bcos she previously got lost n when she called home for help.. they gave her a scolding n didnt allow her to go out.
so i had tohelp her find her way.
:)
lesson: do not judge by wad u see ..
even if he/she is a cheat. i believe the cheat is worth risking if it meant to help some1.
i remembered watching a talkshow. it was abt a lost kid, it took her the whole morning to borrow 10cents to call home. Y? becos every1 tot she was a begger!!! mygdness.. 10cents? even if she was a begger..10cents wnt kill u singaporeans!!!! :P

oh ya.. jj was cheated $10 @ alexander hospi.. haha by an old lady.
she claimed she was lost n ned $ hm.. he had no change but to give her $10... but guess wad.. we went ther abt 2wks ltr..n the lady asked me for $... n before i could give her..jj stared @ me n pull me back! hahaha.. didn know mr jj was this kind.
he got cheated...but he earned my 100points!!! hahahaha

back to work!!!!!

posted by Cinds @ 9:47 AM 0 comments

im flooded w stuff to share :)

The past week has been crazy...

lets see:

i grouch for days...
& u said to me :"..my purpose in life is for all ur grouch n temper..." my hart smiled...

Went to e ZOO zoo ZOO..... w my cousin n aunt frm England n aussie... & to cut short my trip...
im introducing only my fav......

i really love the Zoo. 2nd tym of the yr i've been here... n i'll never fail to visit the Fragile Forest... the only place that u feel nature in its best, little duckys, mouse deers, squirrels, lizards, bats.... all freely move around u!! its a great feeling....

the last tym i came was a date out. It wasn't the most romantic. but its was e best date..best picture tym.... u made me enjoyed dating again then.... i shall not brag on :)

and sum o the beautiful creatures nature has ....

i didnt get to take much pics... but i surelly couldnt resist the butterflies that never failed to charm me :)

And then there was these reallly reeeaaallly well written boards there... here they r :

pardon the clearity :)

and then.. it was stanley... ha. this charming horse is called Stanley!! ...hahha... made my tummy tickle!! :P *oops

but anyway... he is really a charm. i hardly fall for horses...he he really is... took sum pics w him though...

Last thurs was a long long day....

after which.. we went to Clark Quay. Took the River Taxi down w Mel & chris... everyone should take a boat ride down singapore river! its so so romantic...

Anyways...

a sneak into wad i saw in their eyes... :)

************************************************************************************

the weekend after filled my mind.

I see Man & Woman , its Huge Difference ...

I see real love, or is it Real Greed in love.... or m i jealous?

I see Friendship...

I see Adulthood in Child form...

I saw Wad i hate n yet compromise...

I saw My own hart n where it went...

but it was alright... i guess days pass and i learn and grow from the everyday...

but im smiling now.... means i went thru it... n i learnt from it all...

(my com died, his laptop died... is it me or wad? im so so so not lucky w computers.. using my sis's labtop... hahha Wad if..? haha... previously.. during my poly days.. i once change Mac 4 tyms in one Multimedia lesson!! hahahha..... *fingers crossed*)

alrgt now.. im to DVD into my canto drama...

hey have u had so much to blog n when u have tym to blog u just cnt seems to remember them all? ha... thats me now :)

*wink*

posted by Cinds @ 8:49 PM 0 comments

midwk mood

it felt horrible when i hear the 'truth' from him.
the pain the agony.
n i felt horrible.
u dote on me cousie n u spoke of the real world.
n u know wad, it pierced thru me.
will i thank u or will i not?

went on the car n almost felt like crying... but i had to hold it.
n had to fight w dad.
then awaits for comfort call.. i ended up grouching @ my buddy.
im sorri babe

my mood was topsy turvy yest.
happi , annoyed, grouchy, angry.
pms?

anyway. i went home. burried myself.
we chit chat and i couldnt share my pain.
it was too sensitive an issue ... i didnt wan to create any hate
but. he did make me smile again. but just for moments.
but thank u. thanku for tolerating my grouch all week...

i ended up watching I NOT STUPID 2 vcd,
It was gd! it made me luff n cry.
cry away my grouch... n i cried to sleep.
i woke up in the morn... feeling gd :)

i gues its just another day..

i went to read the gurls' blog..
xy n Kl went to the zoo!!! :)
how nice.
i'll be going there too.. with my mel n aunts!
when was the last tym i visited ?
it was our last planned date.
i guess im so easily bored..
thats y im hinting every other day.. im awaiting for more outings! hah.
no more routinal days.
im such a chore!

see.. i wrote from sad to anger to being happi again.
its just so contradicting.
but i guess ive learnt to take things bit by bit n let things go bit by bit.


* life awaits no1.

my greatest joy has been my greatest pain.
weird it may seems. but it is.

posted by Cinds @ 10:35 AM 0 comments