in the midst of shitty moods and monsterous anger that can slit through into U.u and U..
i soften and almost teared (hiden at a far end at wrk) as i felt remoursefully guilty and and disappointed with myself.
it wrote:
Hi everyone. I am uncle S’s niece. I find it to be the most difficult thing in the world to say goodbye to someone who I have called “daddy”. I still remember at about two years old, looking at him and thinking he was another dad, because he looked so much like my father when they were younger. Sometimes, if I saw him out of the corner of my eye I would accidentally call him “daddy” then realize he was uncle S.
The death of a loved one changes our world. It amazes me however, that the world at large has to go on. It feels so strange to perform the simplest tasks. We still have to eat, to rest, to go to school, to go to work. How can these trivial things be so essential when a life is gone? When the loss of someone has shaken our world? Though I don’t think uncle S was big on poetry, I find that a poem by W.H. Auden captures with great accuracy, the feeling of loss and how the world should stop and mourn the passing of a loved one.
_____
Funeral Blues W.H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put down every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Goodbye Uncle S. Our world will never be the same.
_________ : a letter frm a niece of S , a faraway relative of mine.
it came with another letter and a eulogy at the funeral. and ofcourse a continuous number of condolences from one to another in the mail.
S passed away last Saturday (few wks ago). He was was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer a year ago and fought a very brave battle.
He always felt that he could beat the disease and did not want to let many people know of his plight as he did not wish for his relatives and close friends to worry for him. they wanted to let others know a while back but S wanted to wait a while and report when he was on the road to recovery.
He fought hard and never gave up along the way. He hid his pain well and when asked how he was doing, he would always give the positive news. His only regret was having to put his family through the ordeal of his illness.
_____: another relative wrote:
It was comforting to note that S passed away peacefully. For the last few days, in our quiet moments together, I told Auntie M momentarily a couple of times that it's hard to accept the reality that John is no longer with us on this earth.
However, our Christian faith has endured us well to accept the reality of S's passing that what the Lord gives, the Lord takes away.
We are in the spiritual pilgrimage from the temporary life on this earth to the eternal life in the next. The thought that S has returned to the Lord to live an eternal life of peace and joy has further strengthened Christian faith in God. The following beautiful hymn is a constant reminder to us on the temporary life on this earth:
"Jesus is all the world to me, I want no better friend I trust Him now, I'll trust Him When life's fleeting days shall end
Beautiful life with such a friend Beautiful life that has no end Eternal life, eternal joy, He's my friend."
___
and to the rowers and family.
__
reflecting;
who are we to get all angry and upset over trivials when others fight their life battles each day.
was watching NEW BREED VETS with Steve Irwin yest. and guess what, there was one segment about SINGAPORE ZOO!!!! :D
it was about one of our elephants. Bimba -i tnk- he/she hurt its front leg while mating. and our zoo is using Acupuncture to cure his leg!!!!!! hahahah and this "new" way to treat animals made us known! omg. this is funny. but spore zoo is one of Asia's Top ZOo ok! (n cinds secretly wanna wrk with them u know)
the other lil thing of the episode was a Green-tree-frog who broke one of its hindlegs.. and was undergoing a surgery. YEs. ( for a sec i tot the vet was skinning frog for porridge ) i dun fancy that ok! haha.. but its was amazing. they gave it x-ray etc.. but its really dif frm doing surgery w a hamster or bird. its a frog. haaha.
AppppLLLAAAauuuu the big hearts of AUSTRALIA ZOO.
anywways. i wanted to blog abt the amazing tym i had for gin's bday.
we were @ where we celebrated yumi's 20th bd yrs ago. :) all i can say is we had so much fun. it has been a long tym since i had such a great tym w the gurls. when all's avail. being there for one of us. it was gin's this tym. i guess thats what frenship is all abt.
it often reminds u of who made u laugh till u teared (ok i tear alot when i laugh) the few who do the silliest things w u... etc. sventies; we are a sumwad special combi. all different in many areas. but we have wrked hard to keep our frenship in the grp going! thats what warms my heart.
y the sudden emo? ha. but its really true. and maybe to me the L-O-V-E place is sumwher special too. most imptly. we all had a great tym. and now our sventies love (&sillyness( has even spread to yh :)
thKu for picking the perfect plce gin darling.
gin's master piece.
inherited and improved by our mothergoooose! (but our mg kept her self pose stil! wheres JUNE!!! )
reserved posey when the cameraman was a stranger.
our old fave pose.
yooms & cinds (being silly) EATING UP THE BDAY GER.
our LoveSpade. (tks to MG,yh n XY for discovering that spot)
the gurls.for gin.
i wanted to put "cinds peeping the the witch" - but legs too fat! haha and whers the pic of Yumi's Cleav***. OOps.
jj dropby in the afternn for lunch. cinds decline cooking for any1 today. so he went to pack sum food over. my mummy asked him to get sum nonya dumpling from a particular stall @ the btm hawker. mum kept wanting to return him the $. she says. " its i ask him to buy 1, I ASK so must pay..." jj left the $ where my mum put it.
mum came hm just now n i ask her to kep the $ b4 i "cop" it. then she laugh, and kep saying her stand.
i told her if its jj mum wanting to return the $ il slap him. my mum continue to laugh. then she went to tell my dad. "..ah yen's jj afternn tym went to buy us lunch, I ASK HIM to buy me the nice dumpling @ ....... , then i must pay him ma. coz I ASK him to buy 1. then ah yen keep saying i very ......" dad reply (cutting in) .. " so wheres the dumpling now?"
. . . . . .
my dad totally ignored and focused on the dumpling. my sis n i are laughing. thats wad old couples are like. one loves to complain. the other just listen and live in his own world.
self satisfatory.
if u are wondering what happened next.. mum happily reply ".. i ate 1 and gave mike(my bro inlaw) the other 1...." dad say "..then.. u take care of the "Sons" n forget ur husband!"...
mummy totally forgot the previous issue. "eat the cake i bake then ... "
my silly thoughts.. she'' has moved to revealing the other stage of a R/S in her music.
r/s are made up of many many parts, we grow together, learn and Experience, we have tears, joy, goosebumps, sweaty palms.. and we sure have grumpy girly world or "man R jerks" moments. but its really true that we'll always turn to sum1 to screm @ when we know that GUy' of ours.. will think its another "tym-of-the-month" if we were to yell @ them :)
this song is so like it.
it makes me smile.
but i guess all of us girls.. awaits our "boys" to grow up.. be the sensitive men, mature hubby, understanding dad.. then.. all these becums growing up phrase and laughing memories that he'll say.. "thanks to me that made u closer to ur girlfren." -roll-eyes-
