i'm sorry.
I'm so guilty and panicky now.
i don't dare to call u.
Yesterday
u called,
(while i was cooking n was being all grumpy n rushy)there must be smth.
orelse
u wldnt have called my hp, then my hse phone.
actually it strucked me when i hung up with u after that 3mins of chat.
(or even just exchange of MYnags)i was thinking.
there must be smth
u wanted to tell me.
and i keep telling myself to call
u back.
i did.
but so late ltr.
i msged
u.
and
u told me its late n ask me to rest bcus im nt well yet.
now im so guilty.
i heard it frm my sis.
am i glad i got a sister that showers love to every1 around me?
now
u are stil in bed.
n i really wanna hear frm
ubut i dun wanna wake
u.i left
u a msg.
but what i wanted to tell
u is
I'm Sorry.
Sorry
my BaoBei.
how cld i not be there for u when u needed me? How chld i.?
i think i know what i need right now.
Do you have points when u feel 'empty' in ur brain?
n all you need is fresh
stuffs to flow down your spine?
Yup,
im really
Dry.i need to go out there and absorb the
new&old stuffs.
the colourful
stuffs.
the good&bad
stuffs.
the pretty and wild
stuffs.
the carefree and lost
stuffs.
to fill up the brain Juices im so lack off.
...
Wher to?
*im at wrk. n i just can let those juices flow. my wrk lack life, joy,direction,motive, its just BAd la. nt that im gd. but there must be smth rgt?!!!!!! i ned to GO out there n HAVE A SPin! :Pmylove
cinds
Chased by a pigeon'
Yes.
i'm so serious.
I WAS CHASED by a PIGEON(dont Laugh!) thku
Went home after a tiring tiring day.
both mentally n physically.
its too much to spell out.
but im just not a happy person today.
anyways.
here goes my siLLy
re-enactment.
was walking towards my block's lift lobby.
girl n mother was walking in front of me..'
girl pointed out at this '
Pigeon' near the lift to mummy..
"
Ma.. this is the scary bird!!! . .. . "
i saw her walking backwards n away from the lift.
being in a tired state, i cared less! I am quite an animal lover, i never tot i wld detest an animal of any form.
i walked towards the lift.
'
pigeon' spot me.. n walked speedily towards me with its 'pecking beek'
it came right towards me
fast n furious!!!
(ok its REALLy like that)
i heard the girl n sum other duno who start sum commossion.
i was like.
"ok bird, what do u want?"it CAME n it almost pecked on my feet!!
i used my file to cover my feet.
i was like! HUH!. Hey bird!
but i didnt wanna push it away, its just a fat pigeon!
so i stepped back.. n back.. n away.. n in circles round the lift lobby.
at first i was laughing, then i was alil freaked!.
(i am being chased by a "
PIGEON" or were we playing catchinG?)
the LIFT n all those PPL just left me with tha bird n up goes the lift.
(they all gave me that "
dont let that bird in the lift!'' look)
-the whole thing lasted almost 30mins-
i was even talking to that feathery thing.
'hey, dont follow me la.. i got no food here..." (yes. dumb)
but it kept follwingme!
i used my file alil more n push it gently away.. it wld turn around n come bk ...
(ok its quite funny.)
in the end. i had it.
i was so tired, my bag was so heavy..!
i walked backwards into the lift. ( ok i tried that like 5 tyms b4 i suceeded)
i wld push the lil creature alil more n more n hurriedly enter the lift. but i was so afraid the lift wld smash it!
i moved it, i ran in,
moved it. step backwards in...
moved it, ran in,
moved it. step backwards in...
again n again.
(it was insane)
finally i sneaked in backwards b4 the lift shuts n the pigeon following.. (i can hear the lift YELLing arldy)
-end of story-
IT was a TIRING TIRING episode of ME n that
FAt Pigeon !
:P
anyway.
i tnk its lost, i felt alil gulity leaving it there.
i tnk sum jerk must have disowned it.
but hmm... well fed one, how cld any1 keep it? they clipped its wingS? thats y it didn/couldnt fly? thats taking away its freedom!!!
Argh.
im off to read more abt that lil feathery 1..
AMazed.that Feathery 1 made me smile when i entered the lift ..i was really smiling from within.
it made me ponder about my "Pursuit of HappYness" in life. again?...
im sleepy
my mind is in a dreamy state.
but im stil thinking abt it.
watched "the pursuit of happYness" just now
good show.
real show.
sad show.
for me.anyways.
past month
S has been alot alot n alot
one glance back.. all i can say is.
it was alright".
i had my fair share of happY.exciTe.fUn.pAin.aNger.dRains.
oh well wad~ever"
i was on my journey bk home.
on the bus.
yes, i actually sorta insisted on a ride home-alone on 190.
things that came into me on the ride home was rather pain n bitter.
but yet after all that.. it all became REalization~mode.
like 'now i know, n i shall learn n grow frm it kind''
-frankly im lost in wad im writing now.
but i just got this urge to blog
but stil
the movie sorta shoke my hidden feelings of the real world.
anyways.
ive actually always believed...
'
All we pursue in life is HAPPINESS"n u know wad..
evrytym i hav to make a wish..
i'll wish for myself n all the ppl i love to be able to be happy everyday! (n happy is just the simple happiness im refering to...)
-im serious here.
buT. the movie made me question the lead, 'did he do all that because he had to?
or because he wanted to?'
or maybe
Happyness is subjective to every period, tym n in all sorta consequences.
i once asked a fren this.
".. if having to do all thats wrong to making you happy i tnk i can stil understand.. but why are you doing smth which is so wrong and yet it doesnt make you really happy?"- can u see that some tyms.. its because its a "have to" or a "want to" or even a "need to"
and all that makes one's Happy! but actually its not as simple i tot.
its never like what ive always hold onto in my thoughts.
of -
"i do it because - it makes me happy, makes u happy..etc.."i tnk im confusing.haaaa
ok, if u've watched MUSIC & LYRICS.
i tnk im abit like
sophie.hahhaaa
can u understand me more now?
hahahaha
im stil vvv confusing.
ok.
mayb if i say:
LIFE Is abt pursuing happiness.
but often pursuing happiness goes thru all the needs n wants(sounds like marketing!!)
and 'had to' .. but i tnk ive never looked abt pursuing happiness as being an "
obligation."
mylove
cinds
