when i mean what i say:

midway.. mixedup me.

my life n attitude towards life n the thing arnd me has been changing...

today sum1 told me everyday we judge all over again.. b it on sum1 or the things around us... n i totallly agree..

i feel pretty 'tight'... i mean... everythings all sqeezed up.

My school wrk is all pretty messed up.. n packed... till e 11th... but im keeping my fingers crossed.. :) at least i got things done this week!.. feel pretty happi.
My social life has been rather filled w more then i would ever imagined. its nt that much.. but it is drastically changing by the day. I've found 'fun' ive found 'anticipation' but along w all those brings others that i would hope to abandoned.. ( i knw im sumtymes write v weird n complicated... actually i myself oso feel confused... haha)

But i can say that.. i wanna live a happy life. i wanna live one thats for myself n nobody else..
i tnk ive grown to b selfish. grown to realise the importance of being able to find assurance in 'me'... no longer that girl that just wanna live like others thought may be the best me.
ok.. im still trying...
i dun wanna cry to sleep at the end of a happi-day out anymore..

but at tyms the change make my hart spin.
frankly im more unsure of things bcoz ive let go the control in them...
i knw it sounds complex...
but thats how i feel now..
i feel compleXXXXxxxx...complicated.....
BUt i still wanna live w/o fixing this complex situation. dun hate me... dun blame me... i just wanna giv it a shot for all to realise ME... i dun wanna b the one to lead the road. to bear the emotional area of us/every1.

anyway...
today was a tiring n gd day i feel..
at least i feel recharged.. n felt that i had things done . satisfied abit la.

tmr will b a tiring start

***************************************************************
Dont's assume u know... bcoz often thigns are nt the way it seems!
-familiar?

i live by the moment..
i feel nervous...
i can be wrong...
i pretend i c nth....
i feel that im turning away my conscience bcoz of my selfishness..
i hate me... but wads best?

i tnk all i ned is tym.
in tym we'll all know.

b strong every1..
bcoz life gets tougher each day...
n living thru each adds life n builts U... so its worth it.

mylove,
cinds'

posted by Cinds @ 1:43 AM