when i mean what i say:

.. If such joys are worth the pains after ..

I made it sound like I already know and foresee pain.

Like when you were little and love those monkey-bars but it gives you blisters after.. I remember those times I even had trouble writing after. But I still returned to the bars until I eventually stopped. But I couldn't remember what made me stop.

But I never measured it's worthiness then.