today.
today, i overheard 2 ladies over dinner..talking about each others views about men, relationships.
i smiled.
hearing all sorts of wants, firm thoughts, needs,
Hopes, views about them or their kind of men.
i smiled - halfway.
because i am envious.
i am happy for them,
Jealous and annoyed.
yes, all confused and messed up emotions there.
i think, its like a part of me hoped to be like them,
those happy thoughts.dreams&hopes :)
but another part of me is irritated by their wishful or overly rated thoughts.
envious i'd say.
it is scary.
i am scary.
because i am having negative thoughts of things.
simple and hopeful things.
i don't like it very much.
i don't like me' very much these days.
*
i finally spoke out to a close one. today.
on more of my lost thoughts.
she knows me, my bits, our bits.
she always have the clearer mind.
she made me feel more relieved.
thku there.
:)
but well.
i know its all about me n myself.
i have realised its always about me.
she says i am always a lucky girl,
with so many angels around me.
:) i am really blessed, i really am.
maybe thats why i'm so frightened.
i don't like to be unsure.
i don't like to be disliked.
i don't like to dislike myself.
i really think i can just talk and talk about such rubbish.
because it runs through my mind all the time.
but it annoys me.
i bet it annoys you too..
can u feel it?
posted by Cinds @ 12:17 AM
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