when i mean what i say:

I chance upon a song from a friend's fb post and it got me really upset. I think i re-played it at least 5 times and felt that I've lost you.

I think friendship is such a fragile and complex thing. as much as it is filled with the best things you can get in knowing people out of your family, they tend to give you both happy and painful tears. they just come and go too quickly.

I always thought I've lost her way back, until recently I realized she has never left me. (not sure about her) but it is just of tons of memories. I actually unknowingly wanted to bridge it for the better. Not for a closure. Oh my self pretending ideals, it ofcourse didn't progress, because I've lost her. what really hurt was the fact we weren't 2 ppl who shared similar interest or grew out of any same pit, we build our friendship on efforts and we gave all we had. ( I know I did ) so it really really felt painful to see things ending up this way. But; this could be the best way or only way I guess.



Another message came to a laughing me in much surprise. It started from a dear friend's entry/thoughts on being an "option" or being "special. (there about)  and it ended with "melt the rock" "I sincerely apologize once more..."

Upon hearing, i actually took a deep breathe of nothing but air. no aches, no tears, no running mind. just purely Air!

and there it ended my day. I felt like this day could have came earlier. but I'm good. I learn! (says my dear friend)

:)

today, i remember.