o - k
had a good read from Jamie's Entry called;"Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone."
iLike it!
it's a long read by the Author of The Teenage Text Book.
i really need to read a book/ watch a movie that makes the mind swirl/ chat with a insane other or just do something shioky. Else i may go insane too...
but reading this slightly not-sane entry is simply gooood :)
*
I guess it is all true that i need to face what i need to face eventually in order to be sane and less pressured internally. but there are too many things in life that i have chosen not to face. or the politically right word is put down my pride and admit it.
some things i thought could be buried away through time... but in fact, it has impacted me and created something out of me.
but unfortunately, there are so many many aches and ugly truths that made me who i am today.
and yes, it is also a contributing factor of my disgust and annoyance of today.
but it is all my own struggles/ pressure/ un-acceptance and of course expectations of myself.
well, i know life has never promised me anything.
but i have made promises to my own pride and own beliefs.
and when i do not honour it, i just can't help feel hated over my own-self.
some times i really wonder being me is healthy/ correct/ brave/ right or dumb.
This world is filled with unworthiness.
and i am very tired.
tired of the many disgusting truth that surfaces.
everywhere, everyday.
and i announce that i am a brat with pms who is literally tired of pleasing humans and being OK.
i am not ok. to you, u and u.
and an unkind human for real.
*on the side note. i was really really NOT OK to sit in class today. don't think i can be fooled.
the grooming class teacher took me in with the general staff and ask me to cleanse off my existing makeup for hers, i firmly said " i am not-ok to take it off" firmly i repeated it when she reminded me i had to.
and i think she gave in and moved on.
stubborn you may say. but this whole class is not earning my respect.
tsk, but trust me.
saying NOT-OK is as tired as the after-wards of saying OK.
posted by Cinds @ 12:38 AM
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