when i mean what i say:

and i am very proud of her.

-

yes i am a tough person some may say,

others may think i carry the positive outlook in life.

i hope that i can keep that going.

because i fear to, and often to hide the uncertainties is to shelf them and not face them truthfully,

and yep to toughen up other areas and get going.

like the other i always talk about.

like the compartments of choice one has.

ashamed to admit that i have alot of them.

the number of compartments i segment my inner self is way beyond what one may describe.

am i protecting myself too much? 

or am i too much of a woman to be, or am i just never brave enough?

i guess i have learnt and moved on the point i will keep myself sane and protect my own being before i lose it. i do not think further, i prevent and sort my thoughts when i feel it stepping out the the tracks. but i know being this will only make me walk the harder road. 

but i cant help it. 

i'm just not as brave as i was before.

*

i wished i could be lazy,

i wished i could ignore and ease up my daily chores.

but i know i can't,

i'm given it and i shall not question further and just do what i have to.

i really am not looking back.

not even abit.

i am just looking in front of me,

not very far but just alittle ahead.

i know i just have to.

hang on to my sanity.

and only allowing myself to have tiny bits of space to dream and have hopes.

just a little...

i feel like i am no way near to what i really am in real.

*