when i mean what i say:

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Are there moments when you try really hard to ignore thoughts about how others look @ u?

we all know that its a personal thing.

ppl may not even be "looking" @ u the way u think they are.

but how can we stop that thought?

its like you hoped you weren't there.

its like you'd rather you were braver.

its like you hated the ppl around u.

hated yourself for that moment.

i have to admit i'm pretty confident with myself and can be pretty comfortable with whatever i do and wanna do..

but i have to admit that sometimes i feel so inferior that i try so hard to walk out of it, i feel angry and annoyed with myself.

and often.. i know who, and at what situations they are.

that is what thats making me disappointed with myself.

but somethings.. and sometimes.. its beyond ourselves. right?

i wished i were somewhere else.

do not take advantage of me. because.. i choose to believe that..

you need me more then i do.

either ways.. it doesn't matter does it?

i'm looking for THE exit.

i'm not questioning myself, god nor blaming anyone..

but i'm trying to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling inside.

but i realised its harder then i thought.

because it has always been there...

and i foresee it being there in the future.

..unless i choose not to..

but is that the best way out.

i guess nobody knows ..